Strengthening Marriage In A Crunch
I haven't been married very long. I still consider myself a newlywed, but it's during those first few years of marriage that it's most important to build a strong foundation to your relationship. It's important to always be working on strengthening and growing your marriage, but the choices you make at the beginning of the marriage are what will determine a lot of your married life in the future.
Yesterday I was talking with two female acquaintances and when they both heard about my schedule, they seemed a little shocked. One turned to me and asked "I have to very seriously ask you, how do you strengthen your marriage?"
Truth be told, I didn't quite know how to answer at first. My initial reaction was just to say "We just do" but that didn't make any sense, and then I had to wonder - were we consciously strengthening our marriage? Are we really a couple, or just two people living together?
Kevin and I both have full time schedules. He works full time, I work two part time jobs (from home, but often late into the evening), and I'm also still a full time student. Life has been nothing but hectic since we got married, and it doesn't really look like it's going to be slowing down any time soon. I've been thinking a little more about that question over the last few days, and I think that my answer isn't really revolutionary or special, it's just kind of logical.
It's the little things.
It's spending those few minutes (or maybe an hour) sitting in bed before we go to sleep just talking about....everything.
It's Saturday mornings making breakfast or plans for a day together.
It's Sunday naps.
It's Friday night pizza.
It's a home-cooked dinner together most nights, even if it means I'll have my computer sitting next to me in case work comes us.
I could go into more depth about how each of these work and function as something to build a foundation for our marriage, but that's not as interesting. The fact is that marriage isn't about things just working out because you love each other. You love each other because you choose to make things work out every day. Love is not a root, it is a fruit.
How do we strengthen our marriage when we only have a few hours together a week? By making those hours count. By making the time to chat for a few minutes during lunch or send each other things to let the other person know we're thinking of them. It's by making things work that they do.
I love talking about marriage, family, and my super cute and awesome husband. I don't think I would be a functioning human without him around since he seems to know exactly how to deal with my freakouts or stressful times in a way that nobody else ever has.
Even though I love talking and thinking about my marriage and the marriages I see around me, sometimes I don't think about things until someone asks me to - like how to strengthen a brand new marriage that consists of two very busy people.
Here's to making marriage....marriage. It's awesome.
P.S. I got a new computer this week! Yay! The old one was giving me a lot of stress and it was time to upgrade a little. But starting over is a little time consuming and until I transfer over my programs and photos, things might be a little boring. I'll try and stay consistent, though!